nags of a similar ilk

Kris comes home from work each day with a different story to tell from lunch or some adventure during the day, whether dodgeball, ultimate, cards, games or management related. For the longest time, I was mildly envious of his stories. He'd come home and talk about the energy of his work group and all these great conversations and his day. I'd tell him about my day, which usually consisted of conversations what went something like "No, Bella, no. No. No! NO!" or maybe "Annie! No lick. No! No lick!"

Intellectually fascinating, eh?

Fortunately, working in the office three days a week has helped my evening story telling abilities immensely by providing good material (think "Project Strap-On"). Kris' stories are still better, though. I need to either take these guys out to lunch, head out drinking with them, or go mountain bike riding with them. Of course, the latter would provide THEM with more material that me.

Last night, Kris observed that the Republican agenda of instilling fear and cowardice in the American public has succeeded in permeating everyone's unconscious thoughts. His work group was at lunch at a good, local Chinese restaurant. The restaurant is known for a tasty fish dish, of which everyone (but Kris, who knew better) wanted to have.

So, one of Kris' coworkers, the Chinese guy, orders for the group when the waiter comes around. He has a hard time ordering four of the same dish, one for each guy but Kris, as the Chinese culture is one of community dinner: each person orders a separate dish and everyone shares the dishes, family style.

When the coworker ordered four orders of the same dish sheepishly, another coworker piped up, "This is America, man. We have to have our own dishes. If we don't, terrorists win."

Last week, I made a bunch of chocolate cookie dough in a misguided attempt to use up the chocolate chips in the house, mostly so that I would stop eating them. It didn't really help much, as I now eat the chocolate chip cookie dough, with the chocolate chips. I need to stop, though, and before I eat it all, as these sugar rushes are given me nasty headaches.

Well, in addition to making the cookie dough, I actually baked some of the dough, making two dozen cookies and promptly eating six of them. I put the rest into containers and gave them to Kris to take to work. Like I need containers of cookies lying around.

Uh... no.

After our Velocity workout this morning, and after the shower, I was looking at the two cookie containers, wondering if the cookies were still good, since they weren't fresh baked any longer, and were actually 3 days old.

"Eh," Kris said, "my coworkers will eat them no problem." He continued to look at the containers, "Heck, I could write 'Poison! Eat at your own peril!' on them and they'd probably still get eaten."

"Ick," was my witty reply.

After a few moments of silence, during which Kris and I continued to clean up our post-workout clothes and such, Kris asked, "If I do write 'Poison! Eat at your own peril!' on the boxes and someone ate them and died, am I liable?"

"Uh... yes?"

"Because I liken it to a gun. Do you think the NRA will support me in the right to bear poisoned cookies?"

*blink* *blink*

"Maybe it could be the 28th ammendment!"

"Yeah, you'll get 37 states to ratify that one."

I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.  For "How do you know
Kitt?" I've listed you as "other" since there is no category for sweet babou... /sigh 

- Kris 

"I think my new sunglasses look okay. They might be too big, though."

"I think you'll think all glasses are too big for your head. You have a puny head. It's like you stopped growing it at 'kid sized head.' * starts singing * I don't wanna grow up, I've got a puny head!"

"Stop it! I don't like being reminded about it."

"What? I have the opposite problem. I have a huge head!"

Kris has this brilliant idea for an airline. It's called Jump Airlines. It was original conceived as a way to minimize the amount of time people take to board an airplane.

The concept of Jump Airlines is simple: to board the airplane, you have to jump an eight foot gap between the jetway and the airplane door. The jetway would also be a good half to full foot above the bottom of the airplane door, so that you can use gravity to help you make that eight foot gap. Passengers also get a running start to board the plane.

As an added bonus, every passenger can carry whatever he wants onboard the airplane, provided he jumps with it. You want to bring on a suitcase of lead bricks? No problem! Just run right up and jump the eight foot gap with your carryon, and you'll be on your way.

The idea is brilliant in its simplicity.

On the flight out to Arizona, Kris asked Andy, who had never heard of Jump Airlines before, and me about a new scenario for boarding passengers on a plane.

Say you line everybody up on the plane, 1 to 30 or so, as they're getting on board the plane. And a big steamroller comes down the aisle from the front of the plane every 30 people or so. It doesn't slow down.

How many times would you get messed up by this steamroller thing before you became very efficient at loading? What if you ran it every ten people or so? Will people start to trample the people in front of them?

Maybe a wedge-shaped steamroller could just shove people into their seats on the way by? Oh, yeah, and if you're the first into the row, you're automatically bumped to the window seat for more efficient wedge-shaped steamroller loading.

I think that Jump Airlines has its charms. I'm not so sure about the wedgie add-on.